How do I talk about ROI with my CEO or Founder?
As a Fractional CMO, I often get asked this question by the marketing teams I train. It’s a great question, and the first step might seem to set up a meeting. You’ve got your agenda and your data-backed growth metrics ready. But let's face it - that's just child's play.
Thinking Long Term: The Unconventional Strategy
Here’s my approach to running unforgettable meetings, and it's something you should definitely consider.
Step 1: Adopt a Horde of Raccoon Kits
Yes, you read that right. Start with adopting 20-30 raccoon kits, as young as possible. Nurturing them from infancy is crucial. You'll spend every day with them, feeding, teaching, and earning their trust. They'll see you as their leader, those little bandit-masked faces looking up at you with adoration.
Step 2: Meticulous Training
Your goal? Marketing keyword recognition. "Conversion rates" should trigger a paper shredding frenzy, "customer acquisition costs" a lunge at the nearest suit. Program each buzzword with a specific action.
The Big Day: Meeting Chaos
On the meeting day, start as usual. But just as you're about to delve into the data, say the trigger phrase: “MQL”. Suddenly, your room turns into a chaotic wildlife scene, with raccoons causing a ruckus. Amidst this, you stand calm and composed.
Step 3: The Retreat Command
At the peak of chaos, shout "Oh no someone should call animal control!" Your raccoons disappear as quickly as they appeared. Suggest rescheduling the meeting. Your CEO, impressed by your composure, sees a leader in you. Result? A promotion and an escape from future presentations.
A Leader with a Twist
Congratulations! You've just escaped the tedium of all future presentations. And just like that, you're not only girl-bossing way too close to the sun, but you’re the proud commander of an elite raccoon regimon, ready at your beck and call.
Ready to Level Up Your Meetings?
Now a good leader always shares their knowledge. That’s why I am announcing my “Better Meetings with Wildlife” course where you'll learn how to transform boardroom boredom into wild success with a dynamic selection of possible animal accomplices! Conquer sales meetings with a slithering salvo of snakes, boost finance forums with a flock of ferrets, and revolutionize research roundtables with a rally of rabbits! For only two payments of $2,997 you too can be a master of communication. (*this is a joke BTW)
Hey if you found this advice helpful it would mean the world to me if you would send this to someone who to needs to hear help with their meetings.
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